Topping from the bottom

From BDSM Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Topping from the bottom is an action of body, behavior and attitude that indicates someone in an S-type status role is attempting to control a situation they have already negotiated and given informed Consent to their respective D-type in a Power exchange dynamic.

Topping from the bottom is explicitly not an s-type informing a d-type of needs and wants during negotiation phases or during periods of distress. These are instead responsible communications.


Frequently this term used as a derogatory term towards an s-type who either pushes the D-type to act more dominant towards them (attempts to control how they dominate) or tries to maintain control of situation after they have agreed to give up control in that instance.

Often this type of behavior is an unconscious test by the s-type of the D-type's ability to dominate them and keep control of the dynamic, most often this is done if the s-type unconsciously perceives a weakness in the d-type.

D-types who do not recognize this behavior for what it is and do not know how to correct the behavior appropriately will likely accuse a s-type of topping from the bottom.

An open accusation or personal attack rather than taking the appropriate corrective action will show that the D-type is not dealing with the situation directly, indicating not only an immature attitude from the d-type, but also that the s-type is in control of the relationship, not the d-type. In this instance, the d-type is then not dominating and choosing to bottom from the top rather than to perform their promised duty of domination as part of the power exchange. As such many view a dominant making accusations of an s-type "topping from the bottom" to indicate a d-type that is not very skilled in domination and isn't great at taking personal responsibility for a situation.

Alternate uses

At times alternate uses of the term topping from the bottom has arisen.

One such instance is in a fantasy role play where an s-type will pretend to be dominant to have a more dominant person come and strip them of their power and make them feel helpless and completely dominated.

Another term is a consensual use of Bratting within a power exchange dynamic for the purposes of stirring excitement through conflict.