BDSM Wiki - User contributions [en]

Male to Female

2023-10-09T00:49:38Z

Seaborn: Adding resources and see also

A person who is transgender, was assigned to the binary gender of [[male]] at birth, and identifies as [[female]]. AKA transfeminine/transfemme or transwoman.

A person who identifies as a transwoman may or may not pursue medical interventions as a component of their gender transition. Such persons may not wish to undergo medical procedures. However, this decision does not invalidate their status as transwoman.

== Best Practices ==

Ask for their [[pronouns]] and make a sincere effort to gender them correctly in conversation. Remember, it is considered rude to ask about the status of their medical history unless it is relevant to the conversation. Upon meeting a [[cisgender]] person, for example, would it be appropriate to immediately interrogate them about their genitals? Probably not.

If you are a ciswoman, consider asking your transgender sister how you can best support them.

== Resources ==

The following resources are suggested for those looking to learn more about the MtF transgender experience.

* [https://www.ustranssurvey.org/reports US Transgender Survey]
* [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/ Gender Dysphoria Bible]
* [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/second-puberty-fem Estrogenic Second Puberty]

== See Also ==

* [[FTM]]
* [[Transgender]]
* [[Pronouns]]

[[Category:Gender]]

Professional Dom

2023-10-08T20:20:40Z

Seaborn: Removing link to unused category

Professional dominants are those who act in a [[Dominant]] role for a professional session in exchange for [[Tribute]]. There is no official formal training of professional dominants, nor certification. As such it is often wise to inquire about the techniques, mentors and training of someone that labels themselves as a professional dominant to ensure quality and safety, as well as to obtain references and referrals when possible.

The gender neutral term is often "Pro Dom" while the female specific term is often "Pro Domme", "Dominatix" or "Mistress" and the male pronoun is often "Master", though the specific [[Honorific]] chosen will often be left up to the pro dom in question and they may or may not follow this formula.

Culturally there are professionals that include some kind of sex work and those that strictly do not as part of their business.  Always research, never assume and ask if you aren't sure about the policies of someone you are seeing professionally as well as applicable laws in your territory.

[[Category:D-Types]][[Category:Power Exchange]]

Leather Culture

2023-10-08T20:19:02Z

Seaborn: Removing link to unused category

[[File:220px-Leather, Latex, and BDSM pride.svg.png]]

The Leather Subculture typically includes both a style of dress and an affiliation with [[BDSM]] practice. Both the style of dress and the kinds of BDSM activities characteristic of a community may differ between gay, lesbian, and straight communities, and between Old Guard and newer generations of players. While most people who engage in the leather culture style of dress are also affiliated with BDSM practice, not all BDSM practitioners wear leather culture apparel.

The leather community has been considered a subset of BDSM culture rather than a direct descendant of gay culture as a whole, despite the fact that in years past much of the organized [[SM]] community was in fact homosexual, especially in the United States. Today, while some may still use the term strictly in the old fashioned sense (confusing it with old guard), the "leather community" or "leather culture" can include all practitioners whether [[gay]], [[lesbian]], [[straight]], [[bisexual]], [[pansexual]] or otherwise; and high or low [[protocol]]. Modern efforts exist to tie together all varieties of leather culture regardless of gender, sexual orientation and other subjects of [[discrimination]].

== Traditions ==

Throughout the history of the leather subculture, a variety of traditions have been observed, often diligently. While most or all are based on military protocols and ritual, these traditions varied widely between regions, causing much debate today over which traditions are the "original" or "true" traditions, or whether the "romanticized versions of leather history" ever existed at all.

As time has progressed and BDSM has become more mainstream (see below), the traditions of leather has adapted. The first major evolution has become known as "New Leather" or "New Guard". However, even this is the subject of some disagreement, as many noted authors and historians assert that there is little or no substantive differences.

Today, the leather subculture is one of many facets to semi-organized alternative sexuality. Many individuals describe long periods of introspection leading to their choice to identify as "leather". Others do not necessarily associate their leather lifestyle with BDSM, and simply enjoy the sensory experience of leather.

=== Old Guard ===

''"First, a bit of historical perspective will be more helpful than you might guess. '0ld Guard' is really a misnomer-a misapplied name-for the earliest set of habits that jelled by the mid- to late 1950s in the men's leather community here in the U. S. It is very important to remember that the modern leather scene as we now know it first formalized itself out of the group of men who were soldiers returning home after World War ll. (l939-1945)." ~Sir Guy Baldwin, M.S.'' [http://astore.amazon.com/bdsinf-20/detail/1881943097]

The Old Guard when the concept was first coined, was used as a derisive statement to speak about the "old ways", considering them inferior. The term "Old Guard" today has ironically come to mean many other often romanticized ideals that in some cases were never even associated with the Post WWII era of Gay [[SM]] and biker practices. In some cases the term old guard has even been misappropriated as "The origin of Leather and SM Culture" or to indicate [[high protocol]] practices, which is entirely inaccurate as BDSM practices are dated back to at least roughly 3000 BC.

From Guy Baldwin's other writings on the subject it quickly becomes clear that no formalized homogeneous kink culture ever existed outside of those who reported it into existence and that there is no legitimate [[one true way]] when it comes to leather culture, leathersex, and BDSM. [http://www.leatherati.com/2014/09/old-gods-die-hard/][http://www.leatherati.com/2011/09/the-old-guard-classical-leather-culture-revisited-2/][http://www.hawkeegn.com/bdsm/oldgd.html]

== Leather and BDSM ==

In recent decades the leather community has been considered a subset of BDSM culture rather than a descendant of gay or rainbow culture. Even so, the most visibly organized SM community has been a subculture of the gay community, as evidenced by International Mr. Leather in the US (established 1979) and SM Gays in the UK (established 1981). Meanwhile, other subcultures have likewise appropriated various leather fashions and practices.

'''See Also''' [[Leather Family]] and [[House]].

== Events ==

Numerous major cities host Leather Pride events, including San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair, Berlin's Easter in Berlin Leather Festival (Europe's biggest gay fetish event) from 1975 and Folsom Europe, New York City's Folsom Street East, Chicago's International Mr. Leather and Amsterdam's Leather Pride.

Connor Tinquist set a world record in 2011 when he wore a leather BDSM outfit without changing for 4 weeks, 3 days, 17 hours and 42 minutes.

''See Also'' [[:Category:Public Calendars of BDSM Events| Public Calendars of BDSM Events]].

== Museums and exhibitions ==

The 10,000-square-foot (930 m2), two-story Leather Archives and Museum[http://www.leatherarchives.org/], based in Chicago, has much information and details on the beginning of the leather subculture.

In addition to activities in Chicago, the LA&M serves the leather world by preserving material from various leather communities, and sends traveling exhibits around the country.

In 2005, Viola Johnson started traveling with The Carter-Johnson Leather Library[http://www.leatherlibrary.org/home.html] and telling self-promoting stories from her 35 years of personal involvement in the leather subculture.

[[Category:Culture]][[Category:Fashion]]

Kink Festival

2023-10-08T20:18:30Z

Seaborn: Removing link to unused category

A kink festival or gala is an event, usually held annually for two or more days in length, ordinarily staged by a regional community, which centers on and celebrates some unique aspect of that community and the Festival.

Many such festivals are often host to [[Kink classes]], [[Demonstrations]], [[BDSM Vendors]], [[Play parties]], [[Fetish Ball|Fetish Balls]] and more.

As such, kink festivals tend to draw out large audiences and top national and international presenters.

These events are often held on either large camp grounds or rented hotels.

[[Category:BDSM Events]]

Protocol

2023-10-08T20:06:24Z

Seaborn: Removing obsolete 'store' section

A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or [[ritual| rituals]] whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a [[power exchange]] [[relationship]]).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the [[three powers| body, behavior and attitudes]] through an enforced code of behavior and/or [[ritual| rituals]] whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a [[power exchange]] relationship. The reason there is no [[one true way| set rules about universal protocols]] is because every power exchange [[:Category:Relationships| relationship]] is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their [[Know Thyself| needs and wants]].

[[Best Practices]] indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not [[negotiated]] for such things with them.

== Invisible Protocols ==

Invisible protocols are protocols that occur in a method that is stealthy and difficult to detect when compared to a typical [[vanilla]] environment. Usually invisible protocols are used to practice [[power exchange]] in areas where stealth is required, or as an enhanced communication technique that allows complex information and concepts to be transferred quickly.

These protocols and rituals see frequent use with couples that have children, those practicing D/s in public and not wanting to alert others or force them to see something non-consensual, or when wishing to enjoy a well trained slave.

== Honorifics ==

An honorific title is a word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Honorifics are one of the most common types of protocols used in BDSM. An honorific is often a title such as "Sir", "Mistress" or whatever title the D-type prefers to assign within the [[power exchange]] dynamic, and while the honorific may convey a specific idea, no honorific chosen necessarily specifically indicates a specialized list of qualifications. Typically an honorific will be used while in scene or during times when invisible protocols are not necessary for [[24/7]] dynamics, and will be used to start or end a passage of speech, or both start and end a passage of speech. An honorific is most often chosen by the [[d-type]] deciding what sort of status role they find most suiting to them. Some honorifics are given as earned titles from issuing institutions.

=== Common Honorifics ===

Honorifics are often perceived as being masculine or feminine but are frequently adopted in a gender bending fashion as well.

* Service/Pro Top/Bottom
* Alpha slave/Kajira or Kajirus
* Daddy/Mommy/Caregiver
* Mentor
* Sir/Sire/Miss
* Dom/Domme/Dominant
* Handler
* Owner
* Master/Mistress
* House/Pack Master/Mistress/Lord/Lady/Madame
* Master/Mistress Trainer
* Grand Master/Goddess

== Rituals ==

A ritual is a solemn ceremony that exists within a [[power exchange]] dynamic consisting of a series of actions performed (usually by the [[s-type]]) according to a prescribed order set by the [[d-type]]. Unlike a [[protocol]], a ritual has a specific physical action associated with it as well as a triggering mechanism, where as a protocol can simply be a directive to govern behavior.

See also [[conditioning]].

=== Some Typical Types of Rituals ===

Rituals can cover any topic the [[D-type]] so desires, however typical rituals might involve things such as:

* Greetings
* Opening Doors
* Linguistic Conventions
* Object Presentation
* Drink Service
* A Mantra
* Collaring or Leashing

and anything else of importance to a particular D-type.

=== Mantra ===

A mantra is a ritualized, solemn and formulaic utterance. Most times mantras are used as positive affirmations that are triggered at specific times of day or under certain specific conditions. Mantras are often used to help reinforce [[conditioning]] and can be also be a mild form of [[hypnosis]]. A mantra may have other specific physical actions associated with it aside from just speech to help reinforce the mantra.

=== Linguistic Conventions ===

Various Linguistic conventions often synonymous with [[D/s]].

Some people in the D/s world capitalize words and names that refer to [[d-types]], and do not capitalize those that refer to [[s-types]], hence the capitalization of D/s; others do not. This practice was popularized on internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about and has spread to many other forms of text based communication.

Also, some s-types eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master ''Bob's'' girl/boy". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty or [[objectification]], but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing an [[s-type]]. It is speculated that this practice may have roots in the military, where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit" rather than "I" or "me".

Further some may have speech restriction protocols such as the inability to say the word "no" to the [[Master]] (yet still having other venues to express dissatisfaction without challenging the Master) they serve or being required to kneel and request permission to speak with hand signal.

== [[Best Practices]]: Developing Protocol ==

To develop some starter protocols as a [[D-type]], consider what things you value and what small niceties might make your life easier and more enjoyable. Then discuss them with your partner and negotiate the terms of these protocols. When creating rituals and protocols, ensure they have the following criteria:

'''A ritual or protocol should be...'''

*able to be consistently maintained with little or preferably no Dominant maintenance.
*noticed by the dominant when the protocol is not followed, which creates a bother great enough to express openly.
*practical or it will not see regular use.
*assist with facilitating and enriching the s-type headspace and [[D/s]] relationship rather than detracting from them.
*avoid boredom and preferably guard against it.
*be reasonably safe as well as within [[negotiated]] limits.
*a statement of what to do rather than what not to do.
*revisited early on and annually/as needed to ensure it is relevant and serving the intended purpose.

With that information you will be able to create your own rewarding protocols with your partner, provided you know what it is that you want and like, and if you don't, it's important to get to know yourself if you intend on directing your [[s-type]] in how to please you.

'''Other People's Protocols'''

Sometimes when developing your own protocols it can be useful to have a basis for comparison, take a look at some of these sources and note how very different they are in writing style, purpose and application.

*[http://www.ownership-possession.com/wiki/Estate_protocol/ House Tanos Estate Protocols]

*[http://www.elegantlykinky.com/#high-protocol-manual Mistress Zeneca's High Protocol Manuals]

*[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AMiqYJ98mu-YXIVkp9lxNiKhfOuIr1_JeECMb6Ikw-E/ House of KAOS Estate Protocols]

=== Protocol Schema ===

Once you start to have some ideas about what is important to you, begin organizing your thoughts into a Schema.

A protocol schema is a systematic way of describing the set of rules which constitute a protocol. The schema is divided into four sections:

*Classes - the groups of people who interact according to the protocol. This section should specify the relation between each class and any hierarchy within it. For example, that waiters serve customers in a restaurant, but that customers are served according to gender and then in decreasing order of age.
*Dress and symbols - any restrictions or requirements relating to clothing, and any symbols such as collars.
*Speech rules - rules relating to silence, forms of address, speaking only when spoken to, or ways of referring to oneself or others.
*Deportment - rules governing how the individual walks, stands, kneels, or otherwise acts physically, in ways not covered by the previous sections.

Within D/s, it is common that more emphasis will be placed on the s-type when writing out a protocol.

=== Introduction of Protocol ===

When introducing protocols, consider discussing them as well as the concerns and challenges that may arise with your s-type as they will have certain insights you will not, and require their feedback as they integrate protocols.

Introduce 1-3 at a time until the [[s-type]] has canonized them through [[conditioning]] and then add more of your protocols so as not to overburden your s-type with too many drastic changes at once such as by handing them a huge manual of protocols to be responsible for all at once. When trying out a new protocol, use it on a trial basis, reassess and alter the new protocol as necessary so that it will best serve the relationship. When the process is refined, agreed upon and trained, dedicate it to the protocols that are considered expectations of the [[d-type]].

Consider having them keep a log of when a protocol is first taught and when it is learned sufficiently to be set as an expectation so that the log may be referred to if there is a protocol breach. Keep your schema private from them at this time until such a time as it is no longer necessary.

If the slave finds that a protocol is not corrected when failed, the slave will often begin to have the relationship structure degrade in their mind which is poisonous to a relationship based on structure and power exchange. If this becomes common the structure can fail. If the Master finds they aren't upset enough to mention and appropriately deal with a protocol when the expectation isn't met, or worse, that it isn't noticed at all when the expectation isn't followed through on, it is best to consider downgrading the protocol to a stated preference rather than an expectation that must be met as is implied by using the term protocol.

== High Protocol ==

The phrase "High Protocol" is frequently used in D/s and M/s, but has no universal meaning. High Protocol is often used during formal dinners in the [[Leather Culture| Leather]] [[M/s]] community and at various other Leather events and is often marked by being very restrictive and akin to military protocol. Most high protocols for [[s-type]]'s do share some common features, including:

* Elaborate restrictions on speech (eg silence; speaking only when spoken to; requesting permission to speak; or specific forms of address such as "Sir, yes, sir!")
*Deferential behavior (eg not turning back to the dominant; keeping head below theirs; kneeling when otherwise unoccupied; requesting permission to leave the room.)
*Immediate response to commands, and concentration on the [[d-type]] and their requirements and desires.
*Serving or waiting without drawing unnecessary attention to the [[s-type]].

The fictional protocol in force at ''Roissy in the "Story of O"'' is a classic example of a detailed high protocol.

High Protocol in front of people who are not members of the dominant's immediate household may also have some of the features of a performance. High Protocol in front of [[vanilla]] persons may be considered a [[consent]] violation and might cause a disturbance.

=== Protocol Levels ===

Protocol may also come in other levels and be sorted as needed by the [[d-type]], typically into groups such as high, medium, low and no protocol. An example of levels of protocol is The Estate Protocols of House Tanos[http://www.ownership-possession.com/wiki/Estate_protocol/].

'''Low protocol:'''

Used in vanilla and informal situations.

* A continuous reminder of service and its responsibilities
* Permitted casual behavior, yet with specific boundaries.
* Recognition of station, orders, demands and requests in an invisible and unobtrusive fashion.
* Behavior which reflects my intentions and desired interaction on a personal and professional level
* Awareness of accountability, despite the temptations offered by casual behavior and independence.

'''Medium protocol:'''

For most public BDSM scene environments, and during play scenes.

* Prioritize decisions in the appropriate context
* The time and place for degrees of casual behavior
* Consistent ground rules of action and responsibility
* Awareness and anticipation of my needs, wants, and desires- and those of other respected Dominants in my company as a priority
* Focus on BDSM priorities, no matter how long or strenuous the time spent in Middle Protocol

'''High protocol:'''

Normally used for short periods or during longer punishments.

* Complete attention and focus, no matter what the distractions.
* Absolute and instantaneous obedience, without delay, hesitation or question.
* Decision-making and priorities are NOT part of High Protocol; the servants wants, needs and desires are suspended.
* All extraneous movement, speech, and thought are unacceptable. If First Protocol is in effect, concentration is demanded.
* Awareness that every move, answer and behavior is being carefully scrutinized and judged.

[[Category:Theory]][[Category:Power Exchange]][[Category:Slave Training]]

Male to Female

2023-10-08T19:35:11Z

Seaborn: Updating to contemporary standards.

A person who was assigned to the binary gender of [[male]] at birth and identifies as [[female]].

A person who identifies as MtF may or may not pursue medical interventions as a component of their gender transition. Such persons may not wish to undergo medical procedures. However, this decision does not invalidate their status as MtF.

Ask for their pronouns and make a sincere effort to gender them correctly in conversation. Remember, it is considered rude to ask about the status of their medical history unless it is relevant to the current conversation. Upon meeting a [[cisgender]] person, for example, would it be appropriate to immediately interrogate them about their genitals? Probably not.

[[Category:Gender]]

Female to Male

2023-10-08T19:32:18Z

Seaborn: Updating language to contemporary standards.

A person who was assigned to the binary gender of [[female]] at birth and identifies as [[male]].

A person who identifies as FtM may or may not pursue medical interventions as a component of their gender transition. Such persons may not wish to undergo medical procedures. However, this decision does not invalidate their status as FtM.

Ask for their pronouns and make a sincere effort to gender them correctly in conversation. Remember, it is considered rude to ask about the status of their medical history unless it is relevant to the current conversation. Upon meeting a [[cisgender]] person, for example, would it be appropriate to immediately interrogate them about their genitals? Probably not.

[[Category:Gender]]

User:Seaborn

2023-02-27T08:11:53Z

Seaborn: [INIT] Created personal bio page for users to reach out

A peculiar critter, native to the American Southwest, the ''seaborn'' subsists on a diet of snuggles and hearing ''good girl'' from nurturing Dominants. When she isn't editing this wiki or being delightfully tormented, the ''seaborn'' finds herself engrossed in the latest computer science katzenjammer while listening to chopped and screwed witch house.

Want to reach out? You can find her on FetLife under the username alician[https://fetlife.com/users/4556011].

In Leather, <br>
[[User:Seaborn|seaborn]] ([[User talk:Seaborn|talk]])

Wax Play

2023-02-26T07:10:12Z

Seaborn:

Wax play is a form of sensual play involving warm or hot wax, usually dripped from candles or ladled onto a person's naked skin. Techniques often involve using of various color patterns and elaborate designs are used to make body art.

== Sensation ==

There is a significant difference between individuals' tolerance for heat, which can also vary widely depending on where the wax is applied on the body. Additionally, disease, skin conditions, and medications may change how the body responds to wax pay and will therefore require additional precautions.

Removing wax after a scene may require the use of additional tools such as a flea comb or a [[Knife Play| sharp knife]]; use of a knife for this purpose requires special skills, though a plastic card can work as well. Consider that the skin beneath the wax may be more sensitive than when the scene began. This difference in sensitivity can also be incorporated into the scene. Be especially careful removing wax from areas with hair, since the wax is likely to adhere.

== Types of Wax ==

When purchasing candles for wax play, it is safest to purchase candles specifically for use in BDSM scenes. However, if you know the type of wax of your candle, it might be safe to use for play. For example, most prayer candles are made of paraffin and melt at a relatively low temperature that is typically safe for humans. Below are several common types of wax used in candles and the temperatures at which they melt:

*Tallow melts at 110 °F (43 °C).
*Pure paraffin wax melts at around 135 °F (57 °C).
*Soy wax melts at about 140 °F (60 °C).
*Beeswax candles start to melt at about 145 °F (63 °C).

Stearin, a common additive in candles, makes the wax harder and increases the melting temperature. Taper candles, for instance, contain often contain high amounts of stearin and therefore melt at a much higher temperature than paraffin. This ingredient can be added to increase the intensity of wax used for play, but should be used with caution.

On the contrary, mineral oil will soften wax and lower the melting temperature. By adding mineral oil to wax, you can lower its melting point and therefore render it safer for play.

== Best Practices ==

When engaging in wax play, remember that wax can cause serious burns if the wax is too hot. To mitigate the risk of injury, never use wax in a scene without testing it first on a small area of your skin. Furthermore, use wax that melts at a temperature safe for kink play. To control the temperature more precisely, you can use a crock pot. However, both crock pots and wax therapy spas usually feature heat controls, but not temperature controls. Consequently, the wax temperature may vary over time.

After wax melts, it may also pool and concentrate heat. To prevent against this heat concentration, wax must be stirred vigorously before pouring.

Regardless of the wax and the method of heating it, the temperature can be significantly influenced by how far you let the wax drip before reaching the body. The higher you let it drip, the cooler it will be when it lands. Increasing the distance the wax falls by 1 meter will drop the temperature approximately 5 °F (3 °C). However, greater distances will also increase the risk of the wax splattering upon impact.

In addition to controlling the wax temperature, remember that some areas of the body are not suitable for wax play (e.g., the eyes). Even if you are avoiding a sensitive area, beware that wax can still splatter beyond where you intend it to.

Beware that some people may be allergic to certain perfumes and dyes used in candles.

Make sure to secure your scene space to prevent against the risk of fire and be prepared to quickly extinguish should one arise. Whatever is above a burning candle can get very hot, even at distances that may seem surprising. Candles may also break and set fire to objects underneath or nearby. Wax is also difficult to wash out of clothes and bed linens. Use a large barrier such as a tarp or plastic wrap to help with cleanup.

== Contraindications ==

The following factors are known to make those that are waxed more prone to “skin lifting”, where the top layer of skin is torn away during wax removal:

*Taking blood-thinning medications
*Taking drugs for autoimmune diseases, including lupus
*Taking prednisone or steroids
*Psoriasis, eczema, or other chronic skin diseases
*Recent sunburn
*Recent cosmetic or reconstructive surgery
*Recent laser skin treatment
*Severe varicose leg veins
*Rosacea or very sensitive skin
*History of fever blisters or cold sores (waxing can cause a flare-up)
*Using Tretinoin, Tazarotene, Adapalene, Azelex, or any other peeling agent.
*Using hydroquinone
*Recent surgical peel, microdermabrasion or chemical peel using glycolic, alpha hydroxyl, or salicylic acid, or other acid-based products

[[Category:Fire Play]][[Category:Gunge]]

Wax Play

2023-02-26T07:09:12Z

Seaborn: Complete overhaul of the page layout and content.

Wax play is a form of sensual play involving warm or hot wax, usually dripped from candles or ladled onto a person's naked skin. Techniques often involve using of various color patterns and elaborate designs are used to make body art.

== Sensation ==

There is a significant difference between individuals' tolerance for heat, which can also vary widely depending on where the wax is applied on the body. Additionally, disease, skin conditions, and medications may change how the body responds to wax pay and will therefore require additional precautions.

Removing wax after a scene may require the use of additional tools such as a flea comb or a [[Knife Play| sharp knife]]; use of a knife for this purpose requires special skills, though a plastic card can work as well. Consider that the skin beneath the wax may be more sensitive than when the scene began. This difference in sensitivity can also be incorporated into the scene. Be especially careful removing wax from areas with hair, since the wax is likely to adhere.

== Types of Wax ==

When purchasing candles for wax play, it is safest to purchase candles specifically for use in BDSM scenes. However, if you know the type of wax of your candle, it might be safe to use for play. For example, most prayer candles are made of paraffin and melt at a relatively low temperature that is typically safe for humans. Below are several common types of wax used in candles and the temperatures at which they melt:

*Tallow melts at 110 °F (43 °C).
*Pure paraffin wax melts at around 135 °F (57 °C).
*Soy wax melts at about 140 °F (60 °C).
*Beeswax candles start to melt at about 145 °F (63 °C).

Stearin, a common additive in candles, makes the wax harder and increases the melting temperature. Taper candles, for instance, contain often contain high amounts of stearin and therefore melt at a much higher temperature than paraffin. This ingredient can be added to increase the intensity of wax used for play, but should be used with caution.

On the contrary, mineral oil will soften wax and lower the melting temperature. By adding mineral oil to wax, you can lower its melting point and therefore render it safer for play.

== Best Practices ==

When engaging in wax play, remember that wax can cause serious burns if the wax is too hot. To mitigate the risk of injury, never use wax in a scene without testing it first on a small area of your skin. Furthermore, use wax that melts at a temperature safe for kink play. To control the temperature more precisely, you can use a crock pot. However, both crock pots and wax therapy spas usually feature heat controls, but not temperature controls. Consequently, the wax temperature may vary over time.

After wax melts, it may also pool and concentrate heat. To prevent against this heat concentration, wax must be stirred vigorously before pouring.

Regardless of the wax and the method of heating it, the temperature can be significantly influenced by how far you let the wax drip before reaching the body. The higher you let it drip, the cooler it will be when it lands. Increasing the distance the wax falls by 1 meter will drop the temperature approximately 5 °F (3 °C). However, greater distances will also increase the risk of the wax splattering upon impact.

In addition to controlling the wax temperature, remember that some areas of the body are not suitable for wax play (e.g., the eyes). Even if you are avoiding a sensitive area, beware that wax can still splatter beyond where you intend it to.

Beware that some people may be allergic to certain perfumes and dyes used in candles.

Make sure to secure your scene space to prevent against the risk of fire and be prepared to quickly extinguish should one arise. Whatever is above a burning candle can get very hot, even at distances that may seem surprising. Candles may also break and set fire to objects underneath or nearby. Wax is also difficult to wash out of clothes and bed linens. Use a large barrier such as a tarp or plastic wrap to help with cleanup.

== Contraindications ==

The following factors are known to make those that are waxed more prone to “skin lifting,” where the top layer of skin is torn away during wax removal:

*Taking blood-thinning medications
*Taking drugs for autoimmune diseases, including lupus
*Taking prednisone or steroids
*Psoriasis, eczema, or other chronic skin diseases
*Recent sunburn
*Recent cosmetic or reconstructive surgery
*Recent laser skin treatment
*Severe varicose leg veins
*Rosacea or very sensitive skin
*History of fever blisters or cold sores (waxing can cause a flare-up)
*Using Tretinoin, Tazarotene, Adapalene, Azelex, or any other peeling agent.
*Using hydroquinone
*Recent surgical peel, microdermabrasion or chemical peel using glycolic, alpha hydroxyl, or salicylic acid, or other acid-based products

[[Category:Fire Play]][[Category:Gunge]]

YKINMK

2023-02-26T04:35:44Z

Seaborn: Altered the structure of the page

YKINMK, or Your Kink Is Not My Kink, is a common parlance form of internet shorthand to draw a clear distinction between [[WIITWD| what someone else does]], and what the person espousing YKINMK does. Often times this statement is a prelude to further commentary such as YKINMK and that's:

*disgusting.
*abuse.
*unsafe.
*OK.

== Variations ==

*YKINMK: Your Kink Is Not My Kink
*YKNMKBTOK: Your Kink’s Not My Kink But That’s OK
*YKINMKBYKIOK: Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK
*YKINNMK: Your Kink Is Not Necessarily My Kink
*YKINOK: Your Kink Is Not OK [usually referring to extremes such as pedophilia, non-consensual, unsafe, etc.]
*YKIOK, IJNMK: Your Kink Is OK, It’s Just Not My Kink

== Best Practices ==

It is best to take an attitude of inclusivity and to avoid judging others for their consensual kink. Ergo, “And that's OK” is considered the preferred use of the term.

== See Also ==

[[The First Rule of Pervert Club]], [[Sex Positive]] and [[Your kink is wrong]].

[[Category:Theory]][[Category:Acronyms]][[Category:Culture]][[Category:Consent]]

YKINMK

2023-02-26T04:32:23Z

Seaborn: Fixed grammatical errors and phrasing.

YKINMK, or Your Kink Is Not My Kink, is a common parlance form of internet shorthand to draw a clear distinction between [[WIITWD| what someone else does]], and what the person espousing YKINMK does. Often times this statement is a prelude to further commentary such as YKINMK and that's:

*disgusting.
*abuse.
*unsafe.
*OK.

'''Variations might include:'''

*YKINMK: Your Kink Is Not My Kink
*YKNMKBTOK: Your Kink’s Not My Kink But That’s OK
*YKINMKBYKIOK: Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK
*YKINNMK: Your Kink Is Not Necessarily My Kink
*YKINOK: Your Kink Is Not OK [usually referring to extremes such as pedophilia, non-consensual, unsafe, etc]
*YKIOK, IJNMK: Your Kink Is OK, It’s Just Not My Kink

[[Best Practices]] indicate it is best to take an attitude of inclusivity and not judge others, and thus “And that's OK” is considered the preferred use of the term.

'''See Also'''

[[The First Rule of Pervert Club]], [[Sex Positive]] and [[Your kink is wrong]].

[[Category:Theory]][[Category:Acronyms]][[Category:Culture]][[Category:Consent]]

Your kink is wrong

2023-02-24T23:53:52Z

Seaborn:

A subjective statement used to pass judgement on others for their sexual and sensual preferences. It is often seen in online forums as a way of summarizing another persons' opinion.

== Criticisms ==

Many feel that passing judgement on another kink is poor-form, see [[The First Rule of Pervert Club]]. While others believe that there is a moral obligation to demonize some forms of kink.

== [[Best Practices]] ==

Avoid demonizing the [[fetishes]] of others. You are not required to participate in their kinks nor to endorse their kinks, see [[YKINMK]]. However, it is generally considered poor form to demonize kinks that are [[consent| consensually]] [[negotiation| negotiated]] between adults of sound mind.

[[Category:Theory]][[Category:Consent]]

Main Page

2023-02-24T23:40:26Z

Seaborn: [FIX] Grammatical errors

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